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As we learn to forgive ourselves, we have to acknowledge the signs of self-hatred. One of the biggest signs of self-hatred is self-judgment.
"Self-judgment is a common and powerful form of self-rejection. Self-judgment results from thoughts individuals have about themselves and the meanings attached to those thoughts. The thoughts, hence, produce related feelings such as anxiety, anger, and depression. Judgments (The process of forming an opinion, or reaching a conclusion based on the available material) people make about themselves can become habituated as they are used to explain and validate unhelpful thoughts (e.g., If I am harsh on myself, other people will not be as harsh) and they might, accordingly, be intended to protect people against emotional pain, failure and rejection."
This was me. I would judge myself very hard to stop someone else from judging me even harder. I felt as if everyone could see my flaws to the "magnified height" I saw within myself. I wanted to get it out before anyone else could tell me and hurt me worse than what I was privately feeling. This is a form of protection from being hurt but actually you're hurting yourself more than what you know. This can cause self-rejection.
Self-Rejection
What is self-rejection?
Self-rejection is the feeling of not being wanted as imperfect or unwanted; a low self-esteem. Low self esteem is when you think of yourself to be so little in the eyes of others or within yourself and you don’t feel confident, you don’t feel secure and you don’t feel loved.
As women, where do we feel insecure the most? In our appearance, how we represent ourselves. How we feel others may look at us.
We need to regain our confidence! We need to regain our security!
How do we do this? We take it one day at a time. We can have faith to be loved in the Father and learn how to love ourselves. We can start with forgiving ourselves in the areas that we know that we could’ve done better but most importantly, we let the past go and we enter into a new day. Every day is a new day. Let’s give "Us" a chance. We need a chance to regain our footing back in the proper place. It’s starts with us.
Rejected by Others
Another reason why we hate ourselves is feeling rejected by others. This hurts. This really hurts. Especially if you are a sweet person that would do anything for anyone, it hurts to see that other people would not do the same for you.
It’s so many of us who goes through rejection and what happens? We hide or we try to be seen. We either isolate ourselves and do not learn the ways of communication with others or we suffer privately and act out publicly bringing attention to ourselves because we want a voice. We want to know that someone cares, that someone sees you in the room.
Let’s not live for other people, let’s live for God, let’s live for ourselves in a godly way. When we live for God and in godly way, God would cause us to have peace beyond understanding. He will give us wisdom and insight of the truth about ourselves and others. Will it hurt? Yes, but we won't have to carry that hurt as deep as we would if we wasn't serving God. We would have the Love of God overshadowing us. Keeping us through our hurt, through that rejection and it will flow off of us into the arms of the Father.
So don’t carry this rejection from others so heavy in your spirit. Give it to God and let Him love you and fill you with His love, peace and joy. You can be free. Free to live in the ways of the Lord unhindered. Filled with His goodness. You won’t have to wait for someone to come brighten up your day, you can do this yourself. Receive the joy of the Lord and walk on.
See you next week.
Rev. Kathryn Gore
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